Book 'em, Danno

Perhaps with enthusiasm, perhaps with trepidation, you pick up a book to read, but as you go along you realize the book is not for you. A decision must be made: should the reading continue, or be given up? It is almost as though there's a fear that somewhere lurked a cadre of reader police waiting to arrest whoever balks at finishing a book.

Very different is the student assigned to read a book. He or she may find deceitful or ethically-challenged means to get around not only not finishing a book, but not starting it. They enlist the internet or maybe Masterplots and its ilk.

But it is the voluntary, reading-for-pleasure persons who feel the mystic obligation to slog on to the final page. Some who won't think twice about slipping aconite into a spouse's coffee will be nudged by guilt to finish a mammoth volume they hate from the get go.

Reading is the single form where this compunction dominates. People switch away from a television program, walk out of a movie, ruthlessly turn off a music CD, surf sporting events, nod during a speech, or daydream as a story is related.

There is a workaround for those who want to proclaim that they finish any book they start. They can follow the example of Forrest J Ackerman. The collector of a vast library of science fiction and fantasy books would tell listeners, “I've read every last word in every book in my collection,” then add “When I get a new book I turn to the last page--and read the last word!”

Read 'em and Reap

Sequels to classic titles such as Gone with the Wind (The Wind Done Gone) may be published to make money, but they may also attract new readers to their source material. Maybe librarians should encourage reading of the classics by this approach. Here are ideas for some sequel titles of American works.

• The sequel to Moby Dick would become Moby Dick: The Revenge.
• The Great Gatsby would become The Greater Gatsby, that sequel could spawn The Greatest Gatsby, and that could climax in The Ultimate Greatest Gatsby.
• "Greasy Lake" would slide into "Greasier Lake."
• Catch 22 would be upped to Catch 23.
• Our Town would grow into Our Megalopolis.
• To attract today's tech savvy student, The Scarlet Letter would have as its sequel The Scarlet Email. For Whom the Bell Tolls would be For Whom the iPhone Rings.
• For those who enjoy Stephen King, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn would become The Adventures of Huckleberry Fiend, and To Kill a Mockingbird would become To Kill and Kill and Kill a Mockingbird.
• For the science fiction fan "The Things They Carried" would be "The Things to Come They Carried."
• The comic book fan would find for Of Mice and Men the sequel Of Mice and Supermen.
• As for the stories of Edgar Allan Poe--you don't need sequels, students check them out regardless.