We All Scream

An imposing number of Americans are disconnected from libraries. The cause? Maybe there's too much passive marketing.
  
Sure, libraries do outreach, but it's through the traditional bookmobile. Rather, they should follow the ice cream truck model. As the vehicle goes through a neighborhood it plays a jingle through loudspeakers that will entice the attention of the underserved. A line from the Beatles' "Paperback Writer" can be adjusted from "come and take a look" to "come and take a book." Decorating the truck's outside can be book spines sporting bar codes that enable the contents to be downloaded into smart phones. It's done on the walls of subway stations, so how much more appropriate for a bookmobile.

And you wouldn't have to go inside to borrow a book.

Publisher's Progress (by John Bunion)

As I walked through the Wilderness of this World I came to a Place to lie down to sleep; and as I slept meseemeth to dream the following Dream. A large Publisher was coming down a slippy Slope whose Bottom is the Slough of Despond when He met a little, laden Library struggling up.
Publisher: Let Me assist You.
Library: Oh, thank You.
The Publisher proceeded to reach deep into the Pockets of the Library.
Library: What are You doing?
Publisher: I am lightening your Burden.
Library: How is that?
Publisher: I am removing your heavy Coins. Also your pound Notes. They weigh less, but every little Bit helps.
Library: What of my Bookes and the Rest that I carry?
Publisher: There is a Limit to my Charity.

ALA Anaheim: Escape from Disneyland

Like going down on the Titanic, one way to end your Anaheim trip is a visit to nearby Disneyland Park. At least aboard the ship there wasn't the hordes of baby strollers that roll over your toes and bring pedestrians traffic to a molasses-in-January slowness. If there is such an affliction as stroller trauma, this is the place to catch it.

Once in the park you may be forgiven for thinking that its founder, Walt Disney, should have been named "Wait" Disney, since waiting is the one certain thing that you will do when you visit either Disneyland or California Adventure. Lines are long and slow for rides that are short and quick.

The more the merrier is doubtlessly true at Disneyland, if you're a stockholder. But when you are one among the crowds you begin asking, why did I come here? and end with, when can I get out of here? On the other hand, space may be so constricted that you won't have breathing room to ask.

On the bright side, if you are not a children's librarian and forget what a child looks like, you are in luck, for they are everywhere and at every age.

ALA Anaheim: Rather Short

Among the minor distinctions of Dan Rather's talk was its brevity when compared with other speakers. Allotted an hour, after 45 minutes he was done with his prepared remarks as well as those shied at him during the q and a, when he left the stage for the ordeal of facing fans lined-up for his book-signing. As an audience member I felt as though I had paid for a pound of butter but got three-quarters instead. Since he didn't talk any faster than other speakers, his words had a higher unit price without being better.

ALA Anaheim: Where's Anaheim?

“The city of Anaheim is easily accessible, within 5-10 minutes of the convention center”--American Libraries (May/June 2012, p. 76)

An innocent statement? Hah!

The convention center is in Anaheim, so accessibility is not an issue.

Just to walk a few blocks from the center absorbs more than 10 minutes.

There are parts of the city of Anaheim that are not easily accessible, whatever the transportation.

If "the city of Anaheim" is its downtown, to reach it by car in 10 minutes would require breaking speed limits and running traffic lights.

ALA Anaheim: Say It with Flowers

    It is almost de rigueur for any conference speaker to devote a few words acknowledging their audience of librarians. The words are neither unflattering nor insincere.  To speak of librarians is equivalent to judging the merits of mom and apple pie. As much media makes plain, the public has a consensus of good will toward them. 
     However librarians might enjoy the plaudits they receive from celebrity speakers, when it comes to considering their own, the view is far from appreciative. Think of the Far Side cartoon where one part of a panel shows flowers and has the caption "How we see flowers"; and the other shows these flowers with grotesque physiognomies, the caption being "how flowers see themselves".

ALA Anaheim: Don't Go Away

After librarians have made the effort to travel hundreds or thousands of miles to reach the conference, one of their ambitions seems then to be to put in an equal effort to depart the same in order to see the nearby sights. This temptation is recognized and formalized by tours offered through the convention center. Nevertheless, odds are that once the librarian decides she has to get away, and spends hours deliberating which tour is most appealing, she will find that it has been canceled. Tour offerings are as substantial as mirages.
  
If it's going to be canceled anyway, a tour should be offered to really off-beat locales--say Barsoom or Oz or Arkham. Nothing compares with being able to boast of the places you would have gone to, if only there'd been a tour.