Take That

What would be appropriate librarian gifts for Christmas? How about things made from books--or librarians? In the later case I am not advocating a Frankenstein assembly from librarian body parts, exactly. One could, however, give as gifts those features that compose the librarian stereotype.

Say a false chignon, which could also serve as a hiding place for a flask or any type of contraband (for a male, such a hair bun is overtly conspicuous).

Add to this spectacles, with lenses as thick as an unabridged dictionary and a chain sturdy enough for a ship's anchor.

For a dress, a black neck-to-ankle mummy wrapping would do (again, this would look not quite so fetching on a male).

Last, an arm contraption automated to bring a finger to the lips for a well-earned shush.